April is Worldwide Bereaved Spouses Awareness Month. If your aging loved one has lost a spouse in the past year, you have probably witnessed many of the stages of grief. It can hard to watch someone hurt so badly, especially while you are also grieving.

Sometimes people believe that it’ll simply get better if they don’t talk about it or refuse to let any of those emotions be felt. But grieving is a long process and allowing oneself to feel those emotions is a big part of the healing process.

You can tell your loved one that April is a month set aside for bereaving spouses and ask him what you can do to honor the memory of his spouse. Doing something specific for a lost loved one can help provide closure and healing. It can be something really small or it can be a more grand gesture, but here are six activities you might consider to remember your loved one’s lost spouse.

• Create a memorial. People often think of cemeteries as a place for memorials, but going to a cemetery can be a traumatic experience for those grieving. It brings back the heavy memories of that day and can overwhelm them. Instead, you and your loved one might want to enlist the help of his home care team to create a simple memorial at home. Your home care provider can help plant a flower bush or tree in your loved one’s honor. You can find an old photo and have it restored to hang on the walls. Whatever seems appropriate is okay.
• Enjoy a favorite meal. If your loved one’s spouse had some favorite foods, enjoying those together might be a wonderful way to remember his loved one. Sitting around a table and sharing stories of past meals together can bring back happy memories and warm feelings of the love that was there. Even if your loved one’s spouse didn’t cook, there might be a favorite restaurant you could visit.
• Create a photo album. Your loved one may enjoy having all of his favorite photos of his loved one in one place. You can purchase a photo album to place all of the photos in or create one digitally.
• Go on vacation. It might seem a bit extreme, but if the one you lost had a favorite vacation spot and your family is ready, visiting that spot together can help you remember those good times together as well as build new memories.
• Get a pet for your loved one. While this requires research into what kind of pet your loved one wants and can manage a new pet can help your loved one manage his loneliness with the loss of his spouse. This should not be a surprise gift, but should be discussed with your loved one and perhaps his home care team to make sure the right pet is chosen.

Listen, ask questions, and listen some more. Your loved one may just need someone to talk to about his loss. Don’t rush him through his emotions, simply listen, and don’t be afraid to ask questions that will prompt him to disclose more of his memories and emotions around his lost spouse.

If you or an aging loved one is considering home care in Union, NJ, please contact the caring staff at Adult Alternative Home Care today. 888-664-1769

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Lorraine Arkaifie, MSN, AGPCNP-BC

Founder & Director of Services at Adult Alternative Home Care

After completing nursing school in 2009, she worked as a Registered Nurse with the elderly in nursing homes, hospitals and in their homes. She went on to complete advance nurse training with a focus in Geriatrics. As she gained more clinical experience, she was encouraged to pursue her dreams of establishing a home care organization that will provide excellent services to members of her community. With over ten years clinical knowledge, she has perfected the skills to establish rapport and support of the frail and elderly we serve. She loves what she does and will love to help you or your loved ones get the care and support they need.

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